A Naruto Christmas
by S.A.Hikari
Summary: What will happen when Naruto throughs a christmas party, sasuke and sakura end up underneath the mistletoe, and Orochimaru shows up! pairings-major sasusaku, minor Naruhina,shikatem,nejiten.
1. Chapter 1

Hello Naruto Fans! Welcome to the nuttiest, wildest, all around CRAZY Christmas Naruto fan fiction you possibly have ever read! It's me again, S.A. Hikari, and I'd like to give a shout out to my very good friend who loves Avatar, you go girl!

Who Owns Naruto? I don't! Who owns Naruto? The guy who created it, Masashi!

Merry Belated Christmas Everybody! I had a really fun time writing this and I hope you have just a good time reading it as I did writing it. ENJOY!

A NARUTO CHRISTMAS

"Man," said Naruto as he slumped to his chair. "Its Christmas-eve and I've got nobody to be with."

His eyes drifted to the clock. 5:30.

"It's still pretty early," he thought, "I could invite somebody over." His arm flung out to grab his phone and his fingers started punching out random numbers.

"Hello?" said a voice.

"Sakura?" Naruto responded.

"This is she," a bored voice said, "Hi Naruto."

"Sakura! Please it's urgent!"

"What?" She said, suddenly startled. "Is it Sasuke?"

"No," Naruto sighed. He expected as much. "I'm just lonely." Could you come over?"

"Oh, sure Naruto. Anything for a good friend like you." Strangely enough, she wasn't being sarcastic, "I'll bring everybody else, and Sasuke too."

"Okay," Naruto replied. He tried to sound excited, but at the mention of Sasuke, he was put down.

"We'll be there at six." And she hung up.

5:35. they would be there in 25 minutes!

He thrust himself out of the chair and began setting things up for a party. He didn't know it, but it would be a really really memorable night……………………………..

Really.

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The punch was set up at the snack table and the mistletoe was hung b the window,

A desk table underneath. Naruto, being the trickster he is, planted a large, delectable, triple chocolate cake slice on it, knowing that it was something Sakura just couldn't resist.

He would plant his feet next to the cake and wait for Sakura to wander over there, then he could finally kiss her! Hehehehehe! It couldn't fail!

Plus, Sandy Paws (Santa Claus) would be there soon. The night couldn't have been better, or could it? Naruto was overcome with excitement as he set up the karaoke machine. He loaded a disk with Christmas music on it. He started humming "Sandy Paws, Sandy Paws, Sandy Paws is coming! Sandy Paws, Sandy Paws, Sandy Paws gives me gifts!"

It didn't rhyme, but he didn't care. He wasn't much for rhymes anyway.

_Ding dong_

A tone rang through the room. 6:03

"Right on time." Naruto said out loud as he headed towards the door.

He swung it open and there was Sakura in an elf hat and Sasuke with a…what is that on his nose? A tomato? Naruto stared. Sasuke glared.

"I'm Rudolph, you idiot," His unmoved face burned holes in Naruto's head. Naruto's Sandy Paws hat fell of in shock.

Sakura had a huge smile on her face.

"Most of the others will be here in about 10 minutes."

"How many people did you invite?" Naruto asked, suddenly cautious.

"Oh, our friends, you know." Her tone scared Naruto.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6:15. To name off who had arrived – Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Temari, Garra, Kankuro, Jiraiah, Tsunade, Kakashi, Anko, Neji, Ten Ten, and Rock Lee. 16 people, and the number was about to increase! Naruto was devastated. Sakura even hadn't been caught in his chocolate trap yet.

Kiba was acting as the D.J. for the karaoke machine, which was a big hit. The only people who hadn't tried it yet were Shino, Shikamaru, Neji, Garra, Sasuke, and Naruto himself.

"Okay, people," Kiba shouted in the mike as Hinata returned to the crowd. "We got to get this party groovin'. Any more volunteers?"

Naruto's hand reluctantly went up.

"I'll do it." It's his party; he should at least have fun.

"Ah! The host!" Emceed Kiba, who was obviously pleased, "At last, come on up here!'

Naruto scrambled to take the 'stage' which was really no higher than any other point in his apartment.

Kiba placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I picked this song especially for you, Naruto." And he backed off.

The mariachi band started playing and Naruto recognized the theme for "Feliz Navidad."

"Hoooooooooh, boy," Naruto sighed. "That is so Kiba"

And he began to sing…………….

_Feliz Navidad………….._

_Feliz Navidad………….._

He mumbled the part after that.

_I wanna wish you a merry Christmas,_

_I wanna wish you a merry Christmas,_

He was getting into it! Everybody started singing along.

It was fun!

_I wanna wish you a merry Christmas from the bottom of my heeeaarrrt!_

CRASH!

The lights went off. The door came caving in. The music halted and everything became quiet.

A shadowed figure lumbered in with a large beard and snow boots.

Naruto thought it looked like somebody he knew. "Sandy Paws?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 6:30

The large man had a huge bag slug over his shoulder. The lights flickered back on.

"Oh, come on! You don't have to stop partying just because 'a me!" He ripped his beard off and a familiar, but not very friendly face appeared.

"Orochimaru!" Tsunade gasped.

"Oh, don't 'Orochimaru!' me," the snake said. "I just came for fun. I brought presents!" (an: Sorry u guys, but I cant take Orochimaru seriously anymore, not since I saw the things on the internet, so just try to grin and bear it. And by bear it I mean laugh your face off.)

Everyone gaped.

"Besides, it's Christmas! Do you really think I'd come all the way to Konoha on Christmas _Eve _to kill you? We'll be friends for just these two days,_ then _we can go back to the killing, okay?"

The crowd mumbled and nodded in agreement.

"Good, now who wants a gift?"

The kids and adults rushed over to him and he started giving out presents.

Naruto saw his chance. He went under the mistletoe. "Hey Sakura! I have some chocolate cake!"

He turned around to pick up the plate but…

The cake was gone! All that was left was a couple chocolate crumbs. Naruto looked around in panic.

He noticed a dark figure leaning against the wall eating something triangle shaped.

The light shone on him.

Sasuke was eating HIS chocolate cake!

"Sasuke get back here!" Sasuke froze as he looked at Naruto, crumbs falling from his face. His cheeks were full and he couldn't talk. He walked over and swallowed hard.

"Oh, yeah, sorry Naruto," He said to him as Naruto backed away, he didn't want to be anywhere NEAR Sasuke under the mistletoe that Sasuke still hadn't noticed. He put the half finished cake back on the plate when….

Imagine Naruto's luck! Sakura walked past and noticed Sasuke, the cake, and the mistletoe. It was a Sakura dream!

Naruto saw and desperately tried to push Sasuke away, but he side stepped and Naruto ran right smack into the wall. "What are you doing, idiot?"

Naruto shook himself off then tried to push Sakura out of the way.

"Watch out!" Someone screamed.

Naruto ran into Sakura who was rammed into Sasuke which shook the place and caused the mistletoe to fall….. landing on Sasuke and Sakura's heads.

Sasuke's face turned the color to match the tomato on his nose.

6:35

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Naruto was having a fit.

"Why, why why! Why Sasuke, why chocolate, WHY MISTLETOE!!!"

All was quiet (except for of coarse Naruto) as all eyes fell on Sasuke and Sakura on the floor 'under' the mistletoe.

Orochimaru pranced up and sprinkled sparkly dust all over them.

"You are under the mistletoe, the mistletoe, the mistletoe; you are under the mistletoe, now you gotta _kiss!!!_" He sang, obnoxiously.

The pair, embarrassed on the floor, glared at Orochimaru. Orochimaru sensed his wrong and backed away.

Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other. (I can't believe I'm writing this! ; 3) They grew closer and… everyone gasped.

6:39

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The door was throughn open. (Orochimaru fixed it, by the way.) Itachi stared through the door at his brother kissing a girl.

"Whoa, home dawg. Not something I thought I'd ever see."

He stepped in the room, almost like a ghost as everyone looked to him.

Sasuke and Sakura stopped.

His Akatsuki cloak covered his whole body, other than anything above his nose. His face was unemotional, like a robot's.

"Yo, dudes. You trippen'. Why'za musik stopped?"

Sasuke, still stunned stared confusingly at Itachi. Since when did he talk like that?

"Kisame, home dawg, no need to hide from these dudes, they all right."

A cowering figure emerged from behind Itachi. He was scared and shivering. His sword was missing.

"y-y-yess-ss B-Boss." And he straitened.

Itachi walked over to Sasuke and helped him up.

"Yo, brudda, Gimmie some love, gimme some love." And he shook Sasuke's hand loosely. Sasuke glared at him.

"My sole purpose is to kill you!" He said, surprising everybody; NOT!

"Whoa brudda!" Itachi tried to calm him down. "Where's the love? Love on Christmas eve."

Tsunade and Jiraiah walked up. "You certainly have some gall, to come here like this," Jiraiah said.

Itachi folded his arms. "Well if I have the gall, what's he doing here?"

Itachi pointed at Orochimaru in the Santa Claus suit. He smiled and waved. "HIIIIIIIIII ITACHIIII!!!!" he yelled.

"You annoy me, Ochi."

Everybody was stunned. "You call him Ochi?!!"

"Never Mind." Itachi whispered. "Come on, let's dance everybody!"

Akamaru barked.

7:00

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Well, I typed it up. Now no one can say that I didn't. But stay tuned! Part two comes soon! And by soon I mean very soon, like an hour. I just need to type it up. Oh, and let me know what you thought. See the cute little button down there? I just know you wanna push it. I love pressing buttons, you should too!

Not-so-Sincerely,

S.A.Hikari


	2. part 2

Hey, guys I'm sorry. I thought you didn't care about my story when I didn't get any reviews, so I didn't add part 2. But then I saw how many hits it got and I was pleased! So here is part 2. Oh, and this half is MUCH more funny than the first part, guaranteed.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I thought I made that clear? I also don't own Wal-mart, the YMCA, or Blargo the Alianexterminaterman. Just Kidding! I do own Blargo the Alianexterminatorman mainly because… I just made him up, but you can use him in a fan fiction if you want.

P.S.: This story is funnier if you read it out loud, get someone who is a good actor to read it to you, just a tip.

A NARUTO CHRISTMAS (2)

Kiba was teaching Shino how to sing "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."

Sasuke and Sakura were as far apart from each other that the room could allow.

Orochimaru was still giving out the gifts he'd brought.

Lee was trying to get back under the mistletoe with him, but there was no way he could even get her in the vicinity of it.

Itachi was high-fiving everybody except "Ochi"

Naruto wanted to dance, so he danced with Hinata. She had a hard time not fainting.

Kisame was hiding in the corner, muttering to himself as if paranoid about something.

Sasuke had taken off his tomato nose and was nibbling on it cautiously.

Ten Ten was dancing next to Neji, trying to look attractive and catching his attention.

Choji and Ino came together; Ino was frustrated with Choji for eating too much, and after she went through the trouble of putting on that dress!

"Choji, CHOJI!" She screamed.

"Mughff?" mumbled Choji, his mouth full of food. "Myff forry myf mouff if fulff off foog."

"What?"

"_Myff forry myf mouff if fulff off foog!"_

"Uuurgg!" Ino was too frustrated to realize that Choji was trying to apologize.

Temari and Shikamaru got caught kissing under the mistletoe. At that point neither Sasuke nor Sakura could be seen.

7:30

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9:30

The party had been pumping. Romance had sprung, amazingly, even if it was just Shikamaru and Temari, and Ten Ten and Neji.

Kiba was singing.

"Rocking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop.

Mistletoe hung where you can see, every couple tries to stop."

At these words, nobody tried to show it, but all heads turned to find Sasuke and Sakura. The last time anyone saw them was an hour ago when…

8:30

"Kay guys! A big thank you to Orochimaru and his-Cough, cough-wonderful performance of 'Baby, its Cold Outside' with…himself. Anybody else?"

Sasuke walked up without being announced. "I wanna sing." And he snatched the mike.

Kiba shrugged. "Okay then, Sasuke Uchiha everybody!" And he backed up.

A slow music started.

I just can't believe

It started like that.

This Christmas Eve,

Things are all out of whack.

Meeting you in a place like this,

Though I've known you since forever.

Something as simple as a kiss.

So can you hear it?

My heart is hurting like heck,

But I don't fear it.

Though I just want to check,

If you love me too,

This Christmas-eve.

Before I was alone

I was just too busy,

Everything was important,

It was really tricky

I didn't care about anything else,

I never knew you were knocking.

So can you hear it?

I can't stop being with you.

But I don't fear it

Believe me it's true.

If you love me too,

This Christmas-eve.

The music stopped almost abruptly.

Everybody's mouth jaw-dropped. Kiba lost his grip to the mike and it fell to the floor, causing that annoying "eeeruhhineee" sound, but no one was phased, except of course, Orochimaru.

"YOWW! Sasuke sang a romance song? It's a sign of the apocalypse! YAAAA!" He ran panicking out of the door, screaming.

"You guys are crazy-nuts. I'm outta here." And Sasuke was heading out the door when he tripped.

Sakura ran up to him and leaned over him. "Well, there's only one thing you can say now."

"What's that?" Sasuke muttered sitting back up.

"Gravity works!" And he fell back down again.

"Here, let me help you up." She held out her hand. Sasuke reached up and grabbed it.

8:45

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9:40

Sasuke and Sakura were still missing. Naruto had conducted a search party to turn over every sock, every jacket in his apartment to find them. Not even a trace of them was there.

"They disappeared." Garra said, rather calmly.

"Oh crap." Naruto said out loud. "Now we have no idea what they are doing"

His head fell into his arms.

In everybody's worry, the snacks started disappearing. It's a pity (or is it) that those snacks happened to be chock full o' sugar. Then strange things started happening mainly because everyone got sugar high…………..

9:50

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10:00

"WHOO HOOO! Lookit! I've got a paper hat!" Naruto screamed sporting a fashionable chip and dip bowl on his head.

"Wow, dude, I can't believe it's your birthday!"

"I never knew you had a birthmark the shape of a Ferrari." Kiba was staring at Itachi's chocolate stain on his face.

"Thanks dude, you –hic- gotta pretty cool –hic- pig there on your –hic- shoulder."

"Itachi, man, that's a cat." Jiraiah corrected him.

"Arf-oink!" Akamaru snorted.

Shino: "I'm a rock star! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.!"

Shino stood up. Every one started dancing. Shino looked around and threw his hands in the air and waved them. (Just try to picture that, I dare ya. :D)

"Young man, won't you listen to me?

I say young man! Won't you come with me?

To go there, its lots of fun,

So come on down here to the

Duh duh duh duh duh!

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.!

Everyone was having a hard time getting the human letters right. They were all just kind of woozy. It looked like they were saying T.U.K.E. instead of Y.M.C.A. What was a T.U.K.E. anyway? The Understandably Kooky Elephant?

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9:30

At another place in Konoha……..

"I think Ten Ten would like that." Sasuke said to Sakura, pointing to a jeweled kunai.

"I'm so glad we have a Wal-Mart, ninja edition cause nothing else is open!" Sakura exclaimed.

"So who do we still hafta get for?" Sasuke asked.

"Lets see…"Sakura looked at her list, "Temari, Garra, um…Kiba, no we got him already, a…nd Orochimaru."

"Only three more people?"

"Yep."

"Wow, did it only that much time, well, we better get back after we do them."

"I guess so…" Sakura replied, kind of stunned. Did they switch personalities?

"Hold on, it can wait 'till they fall asleep." Sasuke said suspiciously.

"What did you have in mind?"

"You'll see."

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11:40

The music was completely stopped. Everyone was asleep collapsed on the floor. Naruto was spread out and Hinata was curled up next to him. It was actually pretty cute, to anybody who was awake. Unfortunately, no one was. The person who would be awake definitely would be surprised!

Itachi sleeps standing up. Yep, like a horse. His head slumps over, his eyes closed and he snores.

Ten Ten and Neji sleep perfectly, no snores, no nothing, right next to each other.

Orochimaru snoozes with his eyes open. It's pretty creepy, if it weren't for that foolish open-mouthed smile he wears on his face.

You probably won't believe this, but Lee talks in his sleep. Everything is random followed by the words "Gai-sensei." For example … "I think the strawberries are taking a lap, Gai-Sensei." Overall, real strange sight.

"Crik-crik" the lock was being picked!

"Are they in there?" a female voice asked in whispers.

"Shhh! I'm finding out!" a stern male voice answered. The male peered through the key-hole. Onyx eyes. "Yep, all safe. They're sleeping."

"I think it's unlocked…" the female spoke again.

The door easily swung open. "Yep."

The shaded people, before entering, turned off the lights, each holding a large bag filled with boxes.

They began going around to each person, placing a wrapped box in their hands, or on the floor next to them in Itachi's case.

Plenty of time later, there was a gift next to each person.

The girl nodded and yawned, "Ah, I'm sleepy, Sasuke."

"You better get to sleep, Sakura, you want to be awake tomorrow."

Sakura went to a corner and curled up with a throw pillow. She was asleep in a matter of seconds. Sasuke walked over and placed a tiny gift in her hand. Then, he left the apartment.

12:03

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8:42

Naruto yawned and his arms stretched out. "Yawn! What's this?" His arm lifted and he was surprised to find a box in it. He was even more surprised to find Hinata clenched to his chest. "Hey…" He poked her.

"Ummmmm…" she mumbled and clenched him tighter.

"Oh, well." He thought and looked around. Everyone hand a gift like his! Sandy Paws came after all! But everyone was also still asleep, Naruto made a weird expression when he saw how they slept, but he spotted Sakura in the corner squeezing her gift. "Well, at least SHE returned," Then he saw the tag.

"To: Sakura,

Love, Sasuke." Naruto smirked. Suddenly, Sakura smiled in her slumber.

Naruto looked down at Hinata. "Merry Christmas, Hinata." She smiled. His heart panged.

"Man….."

THE END

Okay, I admit it. The ending was sappy. But the rest of it was kinda funny, don't ya think? Actually, this wasn't to original ending. The other was much worse, but maybe I'll add an alternate ending feature thing if you tell me you want it in a review, otherwise I'll assume you don't care.

Hey, did you notice that the story began and ended with the same word? I tried to make it like that; also I wrote that song that Sasuke sang! I know it wasn't very clever, but you see that was a thing I made up on the spot, you didn't have to read it, It was made just to be funny, because supposedly, Sasuke doesn't love or sing, but he does BOTH. HA! Well, this is the part where I say goodbye. Until next time, Sayonara!

S.A.Hikari


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